Preparing for a happy retirement and thriving during retirement itself...
- Artist JAYE
- Jun 2
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 8
The happy retirement dream sells itself like a glossy brochure; financial freedom, endless leisure, no more bosses, etc... However, preparing for such an identity shift now can save you from the reality shock that blindsides countless new retirees.
Boredom in retirement isn't just possible, it's practically guaranteed. Studies show individuals aged 60 to 74 watch nearly 4 hours of TV daily, almost 30 hours a week. Not because they love television, but rather because emptiness can be terrifying.
The first four months can feel pleasantly full with plenty of fun outdoor summer activities. Then winter hits, the snow piles up, and their calendar is emptied out. Suddenly they don’t have enough to do. Being aware and preparing for the potential pitfalls of retirement is key.
Through interacting, observing, and coaching thousands of pre-retirees and retirees, I’ve discovered that, contrary to popular belief, gym visits, book clubs, golfing, weekend outings, etc... are typically band-aid activities that create the illusion of fullness, and don't fundamentally address the emptiness that emerges.
Retirement boredom isn't about having nothing to do. It's about feeling a lack of purpose as a result of having no obligations, nor necessities, that require your unique skills. Most people spend decades preparing financially for retirement, but give considerably less thought to preparing for it psychologically.
For decades, your answer to “what do you do?” defined you, gave you status, created instant connection, then suddenly…nothing. The identity earthquake begins, your professional expertise is no longer requested, your daily structure evaporates, and many of your social connections can be severed. Overall your status can feel diminished overnight.
As a guitar coach who has taught about 13,000 people of all ages (5 to 82 years old), who specializes in an approach that goes deeper than just the notes being played, and who has trained pre-retirees and retirees throughout my career, I’ve discerned 3 categories of activities that facilitate the challenging shift into retirement and that help transform a retiree’s free time from boring to invigorating. The points addressed below aren't just for retirees, they are seeds to be planted now - preparing for a happy retirement while you're still working.
Thriving during retirement and avoiding boredom is about being aware and prepared to navigate the pitfalls well in advance of retirement.
1) DEEP FOCUS ACTIVITIES
What if you can experience more joy in retirement than during your entire career? The secret lies in activities that trigger what scientists call ‘flow state’. This isn't passive consumption, and not spectator pastimes, but rather activities requiring your full mental absorption. Even if you only have evenings and weekends for now, beginning to do these activities today creates neural pathways that will serve you when your career ends. Think of it as retirement training for your brain. Deep focus activities provide a challenge, require a clear goal, and provide consistent feedback. A sign of being on the right track is when you feel time disappearing as your sense of satisfaction deepens.
A few powerful examples:
Learning to play a musical instrument
Not casual practice, but rather, regular lessons and structured guidance with an expert coach that leads to weekly advancement, and the achievement of performance goals. The complexity of music engages different regions of your brain simultaneously, creating new neural pathways that counter cognitive decline.
Competitive chess, bridge or any strategic thinking game
Activities with rating systems and tournaments that demand focused attention. Such games create measurable progress that passive activities do not offer.
Martial arts The combination of physical discipline, with mental focus, creates a powerful engagement. The structured belt advancement system provides ongoing motivation, enhanced physical strength, and increased confidence.
The key here isn't the specific activity, it's the level of engagement. Remember ‘passive’ consumption drains energy while active engagement creates it.
Take a moment to assess your activities. Are they things you passively consume, or are they things you actively create and achieve? Your answer today predicts your retirement satisfaction tomorrow.
2) CONTRIBUTION ACTIVITIES
Are you missing the feeling of being valued and needed? Countless retirees discover their expertise is their most valuable untapped asset where their skills solve actual problems…not busy work, and not manufactured importance, but rather, real impact that others genuinely value and appreciate. Finding ways to contribute meaningfully now, even in small doses alongside your career, builds connections and purpose that you can carry into retirement. Think of it as establishing your post career identity before you need it. Your career gave you something essential; the feeling of being needed and of making a difference. Contribution activities can recreate this for you.
Some powerful options:
Skills based volunteering
Using your professional expertise to help non-profits with specific challenges. This isn't stuffing envelopes. A retiree I encountered did a stint as a volunteer to answer phones at their local city office. They sat in a basement office with no windows, by themselves, with a phone that practically never rang. That's not the kind of volunteering that you need right now. Instead, it’s about applying your highest value skills to solve meaningful problems.
Mentoring entrepreneurs
Providing guidance to start-ups or small businesses in your industry can have a great impact on you and on those that you're helping. Your decades of experience can help others avoid costly mistakes while keeping you connected to your field.
Community problem-solving
Joining task forces to address specific local issues. These roles often combine social connection with meaningful action towards tangible goals.
The objective isn't to recreate the stress of your career, it is to recreate the meaning. The smartest pre-retirees don't wait until day one of retirement to figure this out. They start building these contribution channels years before they need them.
3) EARNED DOPAMINE ACTIVITIES
The most fulfilled retirees discover something unexpected. Their brains crave achievement more than leisure. This brain chemistry hack changes everything yet most retirees completely overlook it. Neuroscientists call it ‘earned dopamine’ - the brain's deepest satisfaction. Earned dopamine activities create the achievement pathways that will keep you feeling satisfied when the career accomplishments disappear. They combine clear metrics, visible progress, genuine contribution and earned achievement. It’s about creating neurological satisfaction that passive leisure activities can never provide you.
Some game-changing examples:
Building something tangible
Woodworking, renovations, crafts or construction projects with visible progress and lasting results. The physical evidence of making something with your hands creates a profound feeling of satisfaction.
Growing food
Not decorative gardening, but producing actual sustenance from seed to harvest. The primal satisfaction of creating nourishment connects us to something deeper than career achievement ever could.
Physical challenges with training progression
Marathon training, long distance cycling, hiking expeditions, and obstacle course races requiring preparation. The systematic improvement and eventual achievement creates a satisfaction loop that passive activities never can.
Mastery projects
Documented journeys from beginner to advanced level in a specific craft or skill. The visible progression from novice to fluency creates ongoing motivation and a deep sense of satisfaction.
In a vast number of cases, when winter eliminates people’s hiking, biking, and other outdoor activities, they realize that what they truly missed is not necessarily the activity itself but rather the sense of accomplishment.
Retirees who are my guitar students rarely expected that a simple shift in activity could have such a profound impact on their lives. I dare say, for some, it has a life-changing, and even life-saving, impact. I encourage you to rediscover activities you’ve loved in the past and to try new activities that have always interested you but that you always believed to be unattainable.
CONCLUSION
Retirement boredom isn't an inevitability. It typically happens to those who follow the conventional retirement script, so dare to be unconventional. Hugo, my 82 year old student dreamt of playing guitar since his childhood. He met me at 79 years old, and jumped on board the moment he understood my experience and success in teaching retirees online in the comfort of their home. I guided him towards achieving his lifelong dream within a couple of years. He now enjoys playing his favorite songs that he grew up listening to and has a fun activity that keeps him young, motivated, and connected to friends and family.
Time is of the essence, especially for this phase in your life, so don’t short change yourself by finding anything less than the best coach you can possibly imagine having access to for the specific activity you endeavor to achieve.
Yes, age is only a number…but only via action, not via observation. Hugo continues to joyfully and peacefully challenge himself by taking lessons regularly while making progress weekly.
The question isn't whether retirement is boring. The question is whether you're brave enough to reject the conventional retirement script and write your own.
The happiest retirees understand that their brain needs 3 things: engagement that creates flow, a contribution that creates meaning, and achievement that creates a feeling of firm satisfaction. When you combine these elements, retirement shifts from boredom to an exciting new chapter of life - a happy retirement.
May your retirement preparation, and your retirement itself, be the best time of your life, and if learning to play guitar is on your bucket list, you now know of a coach who has spent a lifetime helping people your age achieve this dream 🙂
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Guitar Coach | Musicologist |Humanitarian
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